Bashar Assad--The Real Terrorist

While I was reading some news on Syria, I stumbled upon the above picture of a young Syrian kid from Hums region. The kid was beheaded and thrown in the street. This is a new tactic of the killing of innocent people in Syria. They take the kids, behead them and throw them on the floor for their parents to see them killed, and then afterwards they kill the parents. For any outsider, who doesn't know much about what's going on in Syria or naively thinks that those targeted by Syrian Military are the opponents of the regime in Syria...then you must be wrong. Syrian military knocks on civilians' doors randomly. Often times, they take the men of the house, jail them for few days while torturing them, and then kill them. But apparently, nowadays, the jails are getting so crowded and there is no much time left for Assad in his regime so he decided to give orders to terminate as many civilians as possible. Kids, women, elderly....all at once. Never in my wildest dream, thought such cruelty could exist or much worse take place in an Islamic country by majority..but who am I fooling. Bashar's family has a long deep history with cruelty in their past...if it wasn't for the killing, they wouldn't have made it to their presidential political position. As a matter of fact, they had the nerve to claim they were Muslims (since being a Muslim is part of the constitutional requirements for presidency in Syria). I'm just speechless this time for real. May Allah grant patience to those that lost their beloved families in this barbaric war. May you rotten in HELL Bashar!

Watch Your Kids!!!!

After a long hectic day, I decided to go to the mosque for Taraweeh prayers. The first 4 rakaat, weren't quite bad as I was struggling to focus on the imam's recitation and actually be able to feel some Khooshoo3 because he had no microphone on him...so it was quite a challenge to keep up with him. The last 4 rakaate, however; were more challenging because of Bani Adam. It took literally 2 Moroccan women to enter the mosque to make fitna in the women section. Their kids were rude, loud, and annoying. They kept on talking really loud..running, jumping around the ladies..to the point I wish I could grab one of them and throw him out of the window. I struggled to remain calm and focused on my prayers. But what annoyed me really the most is that they would literally start roughly a minute behind because they keep talking..mainly gossiping asking one another about really stupid stuff going on at the mosque. For instance, whose daughter is sitting here and whose son is sitting there. But the most frustrating of all, those women were Moroccans...and their kids were nothing but a true reflection of wild animals.

I Dream of Freedom

Trapped in guilt and fear
To the expectations I should adhere



It is what it is...Some call it a turning point of life...but all I can see is obscure darkness that I can't possibly see through it. I might be wrong in my feelings. I know I just need to muster some courage and get through this combat of life to move on with my life. But it's not easy to be totally free of fear..It's hard to not be free of doubts...I can't help but ask myself one question: What the heck did I sign up for in this life? I shall find out soon iA. For now, all I need to do is pray hard, work hard, and not forget to catch my breath from time to time...oh and remember to enjoy life.

"ORaric" Disappointment

One would think the era of discrimination based on the color of skin has vanished from the surface of earth but to my shocking surprise, today, I realized I was wrong. I attended a laparoscopy surgery where the room was divided by one black team and white team. Once in, I was astonished to see incomprehensible favorism towards my black partner by the black anesthesiologist. I thought to myself, well maybe she attended a previous surgery with this team and they know her very well. Throughout the surgery though, the general surgeon was mainly addressing me and another resident who was assisting in the surgery. Oh I gotta stress out the fact that the general surgeon was white. He hardly ever looked at the side of my partner. The OB/GYN performing the surgery was an Asian guy with dark skin... Even though he’s the doctor I am attending, and the surgery is his…he wasn’t quite given a chance to utter a word as the general surgeon was doing all the talk as if he was leading. So surgery was done and my partner and I reported back to the OBGYN’s office, and before we left he stopped us to ask if we noticed the discrimination between white and black in the OR! My eyes just bugged out as I was thinking it was all in my head at some point…but it really was not!!!! Never thought such backward way of thinking exists among the highly educated people! What a disappointment! I thought to myself why the hell is he putting up with this as he is one the finest surgeons with a lot of experience...but I realized once you live through daily discrimination throughout your life, your skin become thicker to any stones thrown at you. This fine doctor had long stories about his struggles back in UK, even though he was raised there...but his skin color was more of a burden to him in life yet he resisted and kept on going his way and claiming more success in his field.

Never thought British people could be awafully racist by dividing people according to their color and race! The funny part, to the white general surgeon I was white...maybe he didn't pick out my accent..but to OB/GYN I was a foreigner: A Moroccan..he thought he could share his struggles in life with and spare me some advices.

Weird & Random Invitation

Well I received a total weird random wedding reception invitation from my uncle's ex-wife. What a joke!

A Change I didn't witness

So I don't know what got me click on Moroccan news media this morning to get a scoop of some Moroccan flavor of news..unexpectedly and surprisingly, the first video I click on, which is an interview with a political figure in Morocco happened to be my father's best friend (or maybe used to be). Last I can remember he was no where near becoming a prominent political figure in the country...so how the hell he climbed the ladder?! and when this happened? Last I can remember of him is being part of diwane of a particular department in the country...well that happened because our political party (well my parents') won the elections and took over some departments...and oh boy life started changing from then. It was one of those magical days, where I truly witness the uneducated, and the poor rise and shine and become some political figure...and of course take advantage of the country resources, build villas here and there, pay cash for kids tuition in France or US...it was the same period of time, my father gave up his political activities for unknown reasons (or at least to us) and decided to keep living a normal life while we were all watching everyone we know climbing the ladder in society through active political involvement.
So back to the story, this old friend of my father didn't even get his high school diploma...so how the heck he got elected on the first place?! Knowing him that well, and knowing where he came from and what he has done...makes me want to vomit. So the interview went on mentioning how of a great politician he is not mentioning any of the highlight of his frauds: such as stealing lands from government, building villas using the government's money, and so on and so forth. I can go on endlessly.
I guess I just wanted to vent off how corrupted the government is in Morocco!!!!

Denial

Perhaps the hardest thing for any health care provider to deal with is accepting health complications of himself or his family or any loved one for that matter. Denial depresses the heck out of ya and torments you psychologically and emotionally. Doctors are good at preaching and giving patients hopes whenever they get slammed with poor prognosis for whatever condition they have, yet when they themselves walk though the shoes of sickness, they lose hope in the world and hardly ever seen any light by the end of tunnel. I am not sure why though but it's true that they can't handle the distress and they suddenly lose control of the steering wheels. Irony of life!

Ramadan Welcome!

Today is first day of Ramadan. My excitment for this month is endless especially this year, actually this moment. I wanted to fly home yesterday since I was in a "effy" mood, and quite nostalgic to be with family but some unprofessional illerate spanish manager on duty didn't allow me to be on board because I had a doctor note with me stating stating that I was sick and needed to get where I wanted to get ASAP. There wasn't a medical emergency really. I just needed to be on the first flight leaving and the airlines wouldn't have allowed me to do so at the last minute unless I had some medical reason. When I got them the medical reason the big fat lie turned out to be a nightmare. I was almost treated like a criminal by the agent as if I had some disease of unknown reason and i was a threat to everybody. I have never cursed or used an F word in my entire life until yesterday. I just wanted to smack the hell out of her. I am like seriously your must be effing smoking weed if you think i am a threat. I am medical student and I know better. I was just too angry to deal with her ignorance. Sure the company is hearing from me when I get back

Free Time and My Tiny Mini Depression

Free time depresses the heck out of me because I don't know what to do with as I have never had this privilege of having free time in life. My routine has been the same for years and years...and it can't get any better...always running to my classes 5 min before the classes start with a cup of coffee or cup of fruits in my hand (I don't know why my husband insists about those fruits)! I started writing a collective book with two of my friends, and even though it was my idea, guess whose part is unfinished? MINE! My thoughts are all shattered, and if I were to make some efforts and pick them up...ahhhh it gets painful for me to organize them in my head as this one is getting bigger and bigger!

Free time depresses me big time, and I end up bothering my husband and depressing him as well. So today I took the pledge of studying 13 hrs straight with short breaks for lunch and prayer time! Let's fight this mini-depression! Freaking board exams are around the corner!

Afghanistan

So I watched a documentary about this young girl named Islam describing her miserable life with her abusive husband and how she was married to him at a very young age...basically she was sold to him. To put an end to her miserable life, Islam poured diesel fuel over her body. A very heartaching story. Although this happened long time ago, I just felt the need to write about it because for almost a year now I have been heavily exposed to the Afghani culture and Afghan people since my very close friend happened to be an Afghani...she is the star of my group. She did PA school before but decided to join medical school as soon as she graduated. Every time I study with her, she just fascinates me with her knowledge in medicine and criticial thinking of putting things together. I always try to imagine what if my friend was living back in Afghanistan under Taliban ruling, will she ever be given the privilege to be the smart person she is now. Will she even be studying medicine? What would her life be like? I just think it's quite sad that a lot of potentials gets wasted in war or has been wasted during war especially under Taliban ruling.